Why I'm Mad at MADD:
Min. Paul Scott
It's been over 100 days since that faithful March morning when I called the reporter at the Wall Street Journal to tell him about a nefarious plot that I stumbled upon to push high powered malt liquor to our children. Yet, more than three months later, most anti-teen drinking groups have continued to ignore the two ton drunk elephant with a flower pot on his head blasted in the living room. There has been no real outcry about Blast by Colt 45 Malt Liquor.
When I say outcry, I'm not talking about polite little letters" kindly asking that the good, wholesome, community oriented folks at Pabst Brewing Company to kindly remove Blast from store shelves or else we are going to write you another letter." No, I'm talking about letters that convey moral outrage, not a minor irritation.
Most of the dialogue outside of the usual thorn- in- the- side grassroots activists has gone like this:
"Gee, kind sir. If it does not bother you too much, will you stop putting Blast in our neighborhoods."
"Okay sorry to have bothered you...."
See, so far Mothers Against Drunk Driving and the rest of these groups have done just enough so, when some kid OD's off of Blast they can say, "hey, we gave it a shot. "
We have also heard next to nothing from the habitual "grant grabbers" who do just enough to serve as resume material for the next time they have to apply to their friendly philanthropic foundation for another hand out. It has been my experience that many of these nonprofits won't even pick up a telephone unless Mr. Grant is on the other end.
This is especially problematic in North Carolina....
Don't believe me? Google "North Carolina against Blast by Colt 45" and see what organization's name pops up.
OK. I rest my case.
See for these types of groups, the joy (and money) is in the hunt.
I wish I had a dollar for everyone of these heroes for hire who have told me stuff like:
"See, we don't actually fight against the targeting of our kids by the liquor companies...We put on big elaborate conferences to discuss what the companies are doing..."
Well while these groups are working on next year's conference on the beach, grassroots activists have been working their butts off trying to keep this poison out of the hands of our children.
What is really ironic is that while MADD and the rest of the groups that oppose drunk driving have been twiddlin' their thumbs, Pabst has sent a pimped out, Skittles colored, Blast Truck (no doubt pumpin' Snoop Dogg songs) on a cross country tour to promote the liquor.
(If there's any justice in the universe that Blast truck will get totalled by a drunk driver with an empty can of Raspberry Watermelon Blast in the passenger seat....)
Surely, these groups see the irony in that...Or maybe not.
As the saying goes, " none are as blind as those who refuse to see. "
Min. Paul Scott can be reached at (919) 451-8283 or firstname.lastname@example.org